Power & Compassion Christian Marriage Retreat is the work of Dale Lee [Ed.S. LCPC] & Adi Lee [M.A.], a husband and wife counseling team w/a love for Christ and a passion for helping people.

Love Is A Choice, Not A Feeling

Saturday, March 17th, 2012

Often times couples, after having been married for several years, start to allow the romance and passion of their marriage to fade. They get caught up in the mundane monotony of everyday life… working hard to pay the bills… taking care of the kids… keeping a clean house… caring for aging parents… all of these things and so much more can easily crowd in and distract us from taking the time to love and appreciate our spouse they way we need to in order to keep the romance alive in our marriage.

 

When people find themselves in this type of situation their feelings of love and affection towards their spouse can often get pushed aside and begin to fade or be forgotten. But the truth is, love is not a feeling. Love is a promise. Love is a decision and a commitment that you made when you said your vows to one another at the altar of marriage before your family, your friends, and God. Love is a choice that you made “for better or for worse…til death do us part.”

 

Love is an action, not a feeling. It is something that you must control, not something that you are controlled by.

 

People who are having problems in their marriage often say things like “I just don’t feel like I am in love with her any more,” or “I’ve just fallen out of love with him.” But when you understand that love is a choice…a decision…a promise, not a feeling that you are controlled by, then you will understand that love is not something that you can “fall out of” or something that “fades away.” Passion and romance is something that we can easily let fade away, when we are not careful, but our commitment to love is something that you can never “fall out of” of give up on.

 

Because love is a choice and a promise it is something that you cannot give up on or choose not to do. It is something that you must fight for and something that you must take drastic measures in order to preserve and keep alive. It is something that you plan for and budget for and treat the same way as you would any other important thing in your life like your job or your hobby.

 

This might look like setting aside one night each week as a “date night” with your spouse where you go out for a nice dinner, or go to a movie or play, or simply take a quite and romantic walk together down town or in a park… anything that allows you guys to step out of the everyday mundane and focus your attention on one another.

 

It also means you should set aside some time every few months, or at least once or twice a year to do something really special together like a special holiday or romantic vacation. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive if your budget cannot afford it, but it does have to be something that shows your thoughtfulness and care for one another. An example of this could be planning a romantic getaway to a place you have never been before and creating an itinerary that focuses your time and attention during this holiday specifically on one another. Many people enjoy and receive great romantic and emotional benefits from planning a weekend getaway to Power & Compassion’s Marriage Retreat’s in northwest Montana for this very reason.

 

Whatever you decide to do, remember, that love is a choice and a promise that you made to your spouse. Love is not a feeling that you are controlled by or that you can loose or fall out of. It is something that you must harness and control yourself. It is an action and a promise. Fight for it!

17.03.2012 christian marriage counseling, christian marriage retreats, tips for a happy marriage, weekend marriage retreat No Comments

My Life’s Destiny Of Grace (A Marriage Prayer)

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Father, in the name of Jesus and according to your Word, I pray my life will be lived according to your will. So that you’re heavenly perspective will prevail over my earthly choices, circumstances, and decisions. I pray that You, Lord, will be my divine Guidance and my Deliverance from the enemy that comes to kill, steal, and destroy. For your glory and by your will, I cancel every lie of the enemy regarding the destiny of myself and my family.

Thank you for the authority You have given me with the name of Jesus. I exercise my spiritual authority over the current circumstances of my marriage to fortify God’s destiny and sustain undaunted commitment toward a Godly heritage for my family. I know your thoughts toward me are to give me a future and a hope for my life. Inspire me by your Holy Spirit’s grace and mercy to be in tune with your purpose and plan for my life. As your faith child, I am thanking you for the power and right to claim each one of your pure and holy promises over me as a covering, and I promise to minister this covering over my family. I call upon You as my Provider to release your answers so You may show us great and mighty things.

No success in my life will outweigh a failure in my marriage. Quicken my heart for fervent prayer and ignite passionate love aflame for God and my marriage. You are the Author and Finisher of my faith. Help me yield to your plan. You nurture my growth in Your image and likeness as I choose to love and serve others. From this day forward, I choose to trust in you with all my heart, no longer leaning on my own understanding, but following your lead. I now drop my agenda and commit our marriage as a welcome place for your perfect wisdom.
Paul’s tender letter to the Ephesians encourages me to forgive my spouse as quickly and completely as God in Christ forgives me. I do not want your forgiveness to be withheld from me, by my lack of forgiveness to others. Your wonder-working love covers a multitude of sins, and so, in your gracious and final manner, I forgive those who have trespassed against me. Wash away any resentment or anger toward myself or toward my spouse. With thankfulness and humility let me be generous in granting forgiveness as You so generously granted me forgiveness.

Your holy scripture instructs me to love my spouse as you have loved me. Your plan for my marriage is both as simple and as difficult as that. God love my spouse through me. “You in me and I in you” (John 4:20). Fill me with your faithful, unfailing love. Guide me as a peacemaker making each word a gift to bring relational restoration to my spouse and with all others. I recognize that people are created in your image and are infinitely precious to You. Let my heart overflow with the power of Your Spirit.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken, even as a Christ-centered marriage is strong. I open our marriage to Christ’s love as our strongest strand. The joy of the Lord is my strength and I will pray daily for the joy of the Lord in my spouse. You are true to your promise, 0 Lord, for you will never leave me or forsake me. With You as my Helper I shall do valiantly. Truly You are the Faithful God, the Merciful God, the Mighty God, the Great God, and the Living God. My life is transformed with you as our Lord, our Righteousness.

Jesus you are the Deliverer, Friend, and Majesty of my life. You are my Creator and Sustainer, my Consolation and my Wonderful Counselor. You are the hidden Wisdom of the ages who lives to make intercession for my spouse and for myself, both in our marriage and in our outreach to others. Because you are the Lawgiver, your grace is sufficient for me and You are my joy. Amidst all of life’s daily trials You deliver me from my fears and instill firm courage.

Any difficulties, discouragements, or abrasive afflictions are but a whetstone to sharpen a zealous and ardent spirit in my life for You. For You are Truth, Justice, Righteousness and the Perfection for My Life. I commit my life and our marriage to You, “our Dayspring from on high … ” as You “guide our feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1:78-79).

“The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8: 10)”

Scripture References: Jeremiah 29:11; 33:3; Hebrew 7:25; John 10:10; 15:11; James 4:12; Ephesians 4:29, 31-32; 2 John 5

©2007 Dale & Adi Lee http://www.ChristianMarriageRetreats.net

28.12.2011 christian marriage counseling, intensive marriage counseling No Comments

Three Tips For Strengthening Your Marriage

Saturday, November 19th, 2011

Marriages start out with a “till death do us part” but sadly those words hold very little meaning in peoples hearts and minds these days. Today it seems to be that most people live by the philosophy of “till major argument or disagreement do us part”.

This is a sad reality in our world today, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Marriage is not just a bond that is to be honored when everything is bright and sunny, it is a commitment to love and care for your spouse through the good times and the bad, when the skies are sunny and when they are gray.

Below are a few tips to help you keep your marriage running strong and the romance alive.

  1. Share the responsibility of marriage and don’t allow yourself to become complacent.Remember that even though some things may have changed, and you may be going through a rough time right now, your spouse is still the same person that you fell in love with, and the same person you made a commitment to love and care for for life…the same person for whom your heart skipped a beat every-time you saw one another. With time, marriage can become monotonous and boring as you get entangled in all the responsibilities of everyday married life. Children can complicate things even more. But the truth is that the responsibilities have always been there, it is only your perspectives on the responsibilities of marriage that have changed. Remember that a marriage is a two-way street. The responsibilities of a marriage are something that you must share equally with your spouse in order to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Don’t allow yourself to become complacent and don’t start dropping the ball on your responsibilities in a marriage. Just because you have put a ring on their finger doesn’t mean you should stop trying to ‘win’ the approval of your spouse every single day just like you used to do when you were dating. One way to do that is to remember to stay faithful to your responsibilities as a companion and marriage partner to your spouse and your family and go above and beyond to make them feel loved and comforted.
  2. It’s never too late to impress.When was the last time that you wanted to look good (i.e. good and sexy) for your partner? If you cannot remember the answer to that question, then its time to suit up… Remember that spark…that special chemistry that you used to feel when your spouse would dress up in a special outfit, or in their best cloths, just because they wanted to look good for you. It is not too late to invoke those same feelings of love and excitement in your spouse today. Step outside the box and outside of your comfort zone and make yourself look good and sexy for your spouse. Whether that means putting on your ‘sunday best’ for a night out on the town, or putting on some sexy apparel for a ‘special night in’ you might be very surprised at what an impact this simple act can have on your relationship with your spouse.
  3. Go on a mini-honeymoonWe all start to take things for granted when we get too used to a situation. Don’t allow this to happen with your spouse. It is so important that you never take your spouse for granted. A good way to ensure that that does not happen is to plan some special time away on a regular basis to do something special with your spouse. A mini-honeymoon if you will, at least once each month. This can be something as simple as a nice evening out at your favorite restaurant, or a weekend getaway to a romantic resort somewhere. It doesn’t have to be something where you spend a lot of money either, some of the best memories that we all have in life are from the times that we allowed our imagination to run wild and did something unique and out of the ordinary. The idea is to make your spouse feel some love and excitement. You want them to recognize that you have taken the time to design a little ‘getaway’ that is just for them, to show them that you still care.

Learn more about ways that you can build a stronger relationship with your spouse and help to fortify your marriage by visiting http://www.christianmarriageretreats.net

19.11.2011 tips for a happy marriage 1 Comment