Power & Compassion Christian Marriage Retreat is the work of Dale Lee [Ed.S. LCPC] & Adi Lee [M.A.], a husband and wife counseling team w/a love for Christ and a passion for helping people.

Love Is A Choice, Not A Feeling

Often times couples, after having been married for several years, start to allow the romance and passion of their marriage to fade. They get caught up in the mundane monotony of everyday life… working hard to pay the bills… taking care of the kids… keeping a clean house… caring for aging parents… all of these things and so much more can easily crowd in and distract us from taking the time to love and appreciate our spouse they way we need to in order to keep the romance alive in our marriage.


When people find themselves in this type of situation their feelings of love and affection towards their spouse can often get pushed aside and begin to fade or be forgotten. But the truth is, love is not a feeling. Love is a promise. Love is a decision and a commitment that you made when you said your vows to one another at the altar of marriage before your family, your friends, and God. Love is a choice that you made “for better or for worse…til death do us part.”


Love is an action, not a feeling. It is something that you must control, not something that you are controlled by.


People who are having problems in their marriage often say things like “I just don’t feel like I am in love with her any more,” or “I’ve just fallen out of love with him.” But when you understand that love is a choicea decisiona promise, not a feeling that you are controlled by, then you will understand that love is not something that you can “fall out of” or something that “fades away.” Passion and romance is something that we can easily let fade away, when we are not careful, but our commitment to love is something that you can never “fall out of” of give up on.


Because love is a choice and a promise it is something that you cannot give up on or choose not to do. It is something that you must fight for and something that you must take drastic measures in order to preserve and keep alive. It is something that you plan for and budget for and treat the same way as you would any other important thing in your life like your job or your hobby.


This might look like setting aside one night each week as a “date night” with your spouse where you go out for a nice dinner, or go to a movie or play, or simply take a quite and romantic walk together down town or in a park… anything that allows you guys to step out of the everyday mundane and focus your attention on one another.


It also means you should set aside some time every few months, or at least once or twice a year to do something really special together like a special holiday or romantic vacation. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive if your budget cannot afford it, but it does have to be something that shows your thoughtfulness and care for one another. An example of this could be planning a romantic getaway to a place you have never been before and creating an itinerary that focuses your time and attention during this holiday specifically on one another. Many people enjoy and receive great romantic and emotional benefits from planning a weekend getaway to Power & Compassion’s Marriage Retreat’s in northwest Montana for this very reason.


Whatever you decide to do, remember, that love is a choice and a promise that you made to your spouse. Love is not a feeling that you are controlled by or that you can loose or fall out of. It is something that you must harness and control yourself. It is an action and a promise. Fight for it!

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